Mad for AIT

TONIGHT, as I was taking my post dinner walk, I thought suddenly; I am absolutely crazy in AIT. It's a thought that often crosses my mind. Someone or something is always going loopy, and quite often it's me.

Like, I was trying to score good marks for the last 4 years, but poor me, could never score above 55%. The result comes and I feel sad just for a moment and with that sad-facing I am heading to Mayur. I have been here for the past 4 years, and we call it "home away from home". It is a strange beast, this AIT. It hugs me, so tightly sometimes that I can't breathe, then it turns and punches me hard in the face, leaving me stunned. Then it hugs me again, and suddenly I know everything will be all right.

It was my choice to come - I always wanted a career in engineering and AIT was the only college where I could get Computers - and I wanted a change. I needed something new, exciting, thrilling, terrifying. And AIT gave that to me in spades. To outsiders, AIT has a particular kind of impression. We are approached like "You are in AIT? My God, really !!! Subah PT hoti hai kya? And do they teach you how to fire guns?" I thought, who in AIT would bother to get up from his/her bed to go for PT or pick guns to fire them. AITans don't know much, but can give you an answer for anything you ask. Who would know better than me? I being a PR have seen inventions of new languages in that 15 minutes of technical interview. Others have searched and sorted like none could do before. Mechanical people make it through software companies more easily where Compies find it difficult to crack. Being in AIT is like being in a very intense, extremely dysfunctional relationship. AIT and I fight, we scream, we argue, we don't speak for days on end, but really, deep down, we love each other.

AIT wonders why I don't just "know" how things are done, why I argue with it about everything, why I judge, why I rail at injustice and then do nothing about it. But at the same time, it has taught me things. It has taught me to be brave, bold, independent, sometimes even fierce and terrifying. It has taught me to walk in another man's chappals, and ask questions a different way when at first the answer is no. It has taught me to accept the things I cannot change. It has taught me that there are always, always, two sides to every argument. And it is kind enough to let me come and stay.

AIT didn't make my stay easy though (but then, why should it?). It does not allow me to drink peacefully and not even in a corner of it (volleyball court). What costs you 100 rupees one day might be 200 rupees the next, I am talking about the fine that is imposed per day in case you get late, plus that extra effort to go to the Bank. What you didn't need to bring yesterday, you suddenly need to bring today and no one would tell you why. The registrar can ask you to come back tomorrow and see him again just because he is too busy on phone or chatting with other staff members. He will never answer to your queries (even when a simple 'yes' or 'no' would do the trick) but will give you a lecture for 5 minutes and then ask you to notice the notice board. Notice boards are also a funny thing in AIT, some change hourly (registrar), others change yearly (mag board).

It's not easy being here, although I am spoiled. I abuse, I drink, I smoke. I have long, boozy brunches in restaurants and not to mention, I prepare for it (skip a couple of meals prior to it). I have very little to complain about. But then I have been ragged, stripped, made to propose, sometimes compose too, fill bottles, do assignments sometimes my own and sometimes that of others, teased, given less term work and been made fun countless times. I have lived more than I have ever in my life, out of frustration, happiness, anger, loneliness, excitement and the sheer hugeness of being here. The longer I stay, the more I seem to relax.

But I do often wonder why I'm here, especially when I'm tired and homesick. I am technically zero, I have a job that I don't deserve, I have an aggregate equivalent to what has compelled so many IITans to hang themselves. But then a willing ride always comes along, and I'll turn a corner and be suddenly in the midst of some banging, online gaming, outdoor sports and crashing mad parties, where everyone is talking to someone specific in 'English' about someone 'specific' and reciting, when 'she' first smiled at him, and I breathe out and think, really, my God, this is fantastic. This is AIT! I live in AIT! It hugs me, it punches me, and it hugs me again.

Yet I know after a while I won't ever belong here. It will hurt and will stay within me forever. I will remember when my friends gave suggestions like: "Lets go to the graveyard. Time....ahhhh...its 2 am." Some eatable when falls of his hand, he'll eat it, beacause he knows that he won't die. I feel proud to be called an AITan because being a true AITan is in my DNA. I marvel at how incredibly good scorers, many of them are (up to 90 plus in both board exams), they start at 45 in first sem here and improve it to a mere 50 by the last sem. There are hundreds here who speak 3 languages. We have Gultis, Mallus, Biharis, Jats, Nepalis and god knows everything that you can think of. We fit ourselves so easily, be it a train or a bike.

I've done things of which I am ashamed, things I never thought I would do. I am sorry since mentioning them might get me and my friends into deep trouble. Let secrets be secrets. I am kind and I am cold-hearted, I am fair and I am mean, I am delightful and I am downright rude. I am all of these at once and I distress myself wildly over it, but somehow, AIT accepts me. It has time for everyone, you don't need to fight here for survival; it will just shove everyone along a bit and make room for you. It just keeps moving along.

And then, theist or atheist, but you go to temple. Don't know whom do you pray for, but yes an AITan can love more than anyone else. He thinks of his friend, sides his meanness and does justice to every relationship he is asked to, be it fanticism or friendship.

In short, I have been among the luckiest of the lucky. It keeps me on my toes, AIT, and I have been blessed that you let me stay for a while. Thank God, it was a while, because at a stage, it was asking me to extend my trip for 5 years. It wanted me to succeed here and it gave me grand opportunities and endless second chances. It willed me forward like a stern parent. It welcomed me. And when I leave, because I know I will one day, I will weep, because I will miss it terribly. And because I know it won't even notice that I am gone.